키: G major
Verse 1
G
D
G
I
always have been handy,
G
D
Until it knackered my eyesight and
Then a geezer popped his napper,
G
D
"Good day", he said "My name is Ted
Verse 2
Em
Bm
Well I should have said, "No ta,
But instead I told 'im all
D
A
D
as soon as I walk out my door
and banging on the bedroom floor
Verse 3
G
Am
Bm
He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
G
Bm
C
the randy handy man
C
G
Bm
He bolts 'round at their command
G
Am
G
With his nuts held tightly in his hand
G
bang, screw
Interlude 1
G
Verse 4
Bm
G
He hammers up and down the hall
If a lady's got a problem
G
dyno- rod
Em
Bm
Mi- ssis Brown she called him
on the phone
D
Am
Bm
G
And banged her beam all day
Stripping her chimney breast out
And sticking in his R.S.J.
Verse 5
G
Am
Bm
He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
G
Am
Bm
He services her every need
C
G
Am
Bm
With charm, discretion, tact and speed
G
Am
Bm
And satisfaction guaranteed
Verse 6
Look at that grace and style!
As a general rule his expert tool
Makes all the ladies smile
He's pulling out his plunger
And pumping fit to burst
In the capable hands of
Toolbag Ted
Verse 7
Some husbands do not like it when he
D
Bm
But most let him get on with it,
Am
A
D
doesn't charge at all?
C
D
Am
G
And in her darkest corners he
Am
D
G
will make a final stand
Halfway up her skirting with his
stopcock in his hand
Verse 8
Am
Bm
Em
G
He never leaves a job half done
C
G
Am
Bm
A whatsit need a thingummy bob
G
Am
Bm
In fact he's always on the job
Outro 1
screw
G
Am
D
Bm
G
C
D
G
Am
Bm
C
D
G
Am
Bm
G
C
D
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