Folks, this life is tough,
we both suffer such abuses.
Girls phoning day and night,
I've run out of excuses.
We're not bragging,
we're complaining,
and don't think this is
treason.
We know we're not
good looking.
Our proboscises are
the reason.
Who's got all the charm?
Durante and Hope.
Who's got all the personality?
Hope and Durante
Who's got all the sav -o -fair?
Durante and Hope
Who's got all the money?
Crosby
Honest, this is not just a lot of noise
We wish there was something
we could do for other boys
No wonder fellas in this town
Walk around with a great big frown
They're jealous of the boys
with the proboscis
They beg for dates with all the chicks
But we have to beat them off with sticks
No one like the boys
with the proboscis
Our secret is variety
That's what we found
My nose turns up
An d my nose turns down
We get an awful problem
Every time we get
too close we lock bumpers
You'd think this life would
make us smile,
but it gets boring after a while.
blame us if we sit around and mope.
Now analyze our assets
from our profile to our chassis.
I've got so much more than Gregory.
I've got so much more than Lassie.
So if you've got a sweetie and
you plan to elope,
beware of the boys of the preposters.
Ah, Jim, my nose has never been any handicapped
when it comes to girls.
Why, in one night
I once went out with five girls.
So what? In one night
I once went out with ten girls.
Well, on my dresser
I've got pictures of twenty
beautiful girls.
On my dresser
I've got pictures
of forty beautiful girls.
Uh -huh.
Well, I've been proposed to by
fifty girls.
But I've been proposed
to by a hundred girls.
Well? Oh, no you don't.
This time you go first.
So, if you've got a sweetie
an d you plan to elope,
beware of the boys with
the preposterous!
Yes, sir!
Beware of the boys with the
preposterous!
Yes, sir! the boys