These are the terms
and conditions for living in the UK
First abandon kindness,
it's a fool's game
Oh, it's a shame you went to state
school in the first place
That'll keep you two steps down
in the rat race
You need to learn to hate
America
Russia
Climate change
China, rich cunts and poor cunts
The weather and the tax rates
All the fuckers telling you to isolate
Labour and the Liberals and the
Greens and the Tory state
Feminism, snowflakes
The EDL
Hate everyone and everything 'til
you can't even stand yourself
Hate the fact you need money
Hate all those who want money
Hate the fucking game and the
taste for wealth
And find love
In beer and drugs and crime
The glory days before
the others all arrived
Seek pride in your na tion's
contribution in the war
Watch films about soldiers,
cry at what they died for
A fuck ton of corruption in the
Houses and the courts
Great British Arse that soares
Right before it shits all over
its own people in hoardes
In education, policy
Tooth, and claw
And then somewhere
Between the crackheads and the lords
The people who believe 'em
And the police force
Is a most glorious na tion
of pride and patience
No, I'm only joking,
of course
We don't smile too much
around 'ere, love
Wipe it off your face
Our terms and conditions consist
of hate
Part two of the UK's terms
and conditions
For all but the wealthy
and the first class citizens
To anyone poor or born
outside of Britain
You must follow the following conditions,
yes?
Okay so what you're saying
is that the rules don't apply
To anyone with a winning lottery
ticket as a bloodline
No, the fact is, in practice,
the rules do apply
With the exception of taxes
and COVID guidelines
Amongst other things, you know
Murder
Lies
With money,
there's no such a thing as a crime!
Okay, so what you're saying is your
conditions is money making?
No, not money making, money taking!
Money tak ing?
Yes, money taking
After that, money saving
Placing said money in savings
So greed?
Not greed, aspirations, see!
Aspirations for those with
a first class degree
Why, of course! And a delectable
family tree
Your conditions favour
the aristocracy
It's the equivalent to sitting
in a stadium seat
Stand up, for a better view
The guy behind can't see
Basically
Your Ts and Cs mean liberty
But freedom doesn't recognise poverty
Oh, shit
So, smile, smile, smile
'Cause you have much
to be thankful for
These terms and conditions were
Never truly yours
For the taking
Did you have me mistaken,
when you came to this country half way?
With the silly little dreams,
of a child half- baked
And the mind of an animal
scrounging for bait
Did you forget about me?
It seems you did
I am the fucking man
I decide who lives and dies
You are nothing
But the blood between my eyes
And I decree with each
part of me
That you are doomed for all of time
To revoke my spell
Sans protests?
Please, step in line