Loves hot food bars.
A quart of sweet tea,
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And fried pork skins.
Can't get enough,
Eats 'til she's stuffed.
Goes to the bathroom,
Then she comes back again.
She thinks she looks
just like Madonna,
When she runs her greasy fingers
Through her bleach blonde hair.
Most times, she'll place another order,
And, Lordy, have mercy on
that little bitty chair.
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,
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Eatin' me out of house and home.
Her booty size, well, it outta be illegal.
She has a hard time, sittin' on the throne.
Hamburgers,
hot dogs; cheese fries and coleslaw.
A dozen bearclaws; yum,
yum, yum.
Loves sausage links; hates
diet drinks.
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Takes up both seats, in a two-seater car.
car.
Her doctor said: "Lay off the bread,"
But he didn't say nothin'
'bout a Snickers bar.
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon,
And she'd never eat a salad
or a lean cuisine.
Then she'll lay spread out
on the hammock,
After she's done her damage
at the Dairy Queen.
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,
Folks make fun 'cause
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she's overgrown.
Her rump's shaped like
a Volkswagen Beetle.
She gives new meaning to the
words: "Big boned".
Bagels and cream
cheese; vanilla ice cream.
A tub of whipped cream; yum,
yum, yum.
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No, you won't find her name on the
weight loss wall of fame,
Down at Jenny Craig's.
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When she cleans 'em out
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at the waffle house,
They'll bring in more
ham and eggs , oh.
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles.
Her favorite food is
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chocolate ding-dongs.
It's wide enough to play line-backer
for for the Eagles.
Deon Sanders better leave her alone.
Try chicken that's baked,
or fat-free milk milk shake.
Enough for God's sake: Stop
the insanity.
Weight watchers, yeah.
Weight watchers, yeah.
Yeah, I watched her weight.
I watched it go from one seventeen
and a quarter when I married her,
To three hundred and seventeen and a half,
two-and-a-half years years years years later. Mooo!
But I still love ya, honey.
Cledus T. Judd 
