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Jesus came to Earth today smack dab
into Tennessee
Knocked upon my front door said, "Hey
Will, remember me?"
I said, "Oh Lord please forgive me, but I ain't real good with names,
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but your face looks real familiar. Wait a second, uh, is it James?"
And he said, "No, no, no"
He said, "It's Jesus,
you know the son of God" and I didn't realise
I said, "Man, I'm sure sorry
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" and invited him inside
Offered him a sandwich
cause he was looking awful thin
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And then I went and got nervous and I said, "So Jesus,
where you been?"
And he said "Heaven Will,
I've been in heaven"
And then I saw him looking
at a picture from my wedding day
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Of my wife and me and our one
year old son
I said, "I guess that's
not OK?"
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He said "The truth is all I care about is that you love
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and take care of your kids.
Remember I was born out of wedlock too,
though some folks soon forget. They'd soon forget."
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We just sat there talking,
watching the TV news
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I asked him "Fox or CNN?"
He said, "Will, I prefer the truth."
I said, "PBS, OK my friend" and
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we both had a laugh
But with the stories they kept showing
he started looking pretty sad
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It was all war and death and hatred,
poverty and greed
He said "The rich folks and politicians are sure starting to get to me. What
part of love your neighbor is so hard to understand?"
I said " Don't take it too hard Jesus,
let's just take a drive my man. Take a drive my man"
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Hopped into my old Ford
and went out for a spin
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Drove past a military funeral
where we saw these angry men
With signs that said that "God hates fags",
Jesus said "Let me out"
Walked up to them all calm and cool and I heard one man shout,
"Get out of here, you goddamn hippy, I can't wait for you to die."
And Jesus said " I already did"
and smiled and waved goodbye
Got in and said "Daddy doesn't hate nobody,
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that's an awful thing to say. Plus Daddy knows what he's doing. He's the one that made them gay."
God made them gay.
I went back to driving and then I saw
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him shed a tear
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He said "Y'all sure have made a mess of all the things that we gave you down here. All this war and global warming,
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no help to the sick and the poor. I guess Daddy and I should just pull the plug, y'all ain't worth it anymore."
I said, "Woah Jesus, Jesus take it easy. I gotta pick my two sons up at three
and if it's going to be Armageddon I think I like to have them here with me."
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He said "OK then let's go get 'em"
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and then we turned up the radio
And we sang along to old Merle Haggard
songs as we rode on down the road.
"Mama tried"
Oh, "Mama tried"
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Pulled up to the playground and Jesus
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said "Look- ey there."
All the kids were running 'round laughing,
there was smiles everywhere.
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The white, the black, the Chinese,
the short, the fat, the tall.
Christians, Muslims,
Jews and Atheists having themselves a ball.
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Jesus smiled and said "Well, maybe there's hope for you folks yet. Learn a lesson from your children and try not to forget. And I'll call off this Doomsday,
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end of the world and I can go back home. It gets wild when I leave Daddy and John Lennon up there all alone."
Oh yeah
I said "OK Jesus,
thanks for hanging. See you another time."
And just like that he was gone
and everything seemed fine.
I yelled, "One more thing Jesus,
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could you help me write some hits?"
And in a big voice he said that "I will, if you
quit writing songs like this."
Amen
