Well, I built a little shack
on a bank by the river,
right outside of town.
That's my sacred space,
I'm gonna stay until the bank says
I can't stick around.
I got men camouflaged
on a boat on the river
Right out in front of my house
They were blastin' 12 gauges
at 5 a .m. on the foul
That didn't fly south
Now it ain't no fun wakin'
up to a gun_
Especially if you got you
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a daughter or a son
And when they're awake,
everybody's awake
And let me tell ya, it make me wanna run
Right down the riverbank
and dive into the river
and breath stroke on out
Gave them boys a piece of my mind
but they got gun_ s from the stern to bow
I was really glad at my
decision not to do that.
It was a bad idea.
So I got me some outside speakers
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and turned up pretty loud
I reckon if I was gon_ na be awake
I'm gonna flood the wilderness
with sound
Maybe that would give the camouflage
a hint that we did not want them around
But it had the opposite effect
and those camo boys
started to get down
They were do_ ing the honky -tonk,
the dunk -a -dunk,
and the cotton -eyed joke
Tango with the sheriff
and the booza -scoo -boogie
-dee -toosh -poosh
and the straw
I think I saw Macarena electric slide
as they did flow
They's getting on down to making waves
in the perfectly weighted
fiber_ glass bass boat
They's get_ ting on down to making waves
in the perfectly weighted
fiber_ glass bass boat
I reckon those camouflage pappas
took him to that spot
when they were surrounded.
Shoot_ in' guns, killin' things
never was what my daddy
was about.
Obviously we were raised differently
and I can un_ derstand that fact.
But I can_ 't understand blasting 12 gauges
at 5 a .m. out in front of my shack_ .
Well, that's just rude, man.
And it's loud. I mean, loud.
I imagine they were float
-hunting generations
in that spot
before the land we had won.
I ima_ gine life -changing talks
in the boat between the papi
and his camouflaged son.
Like maybe it was there
that the pappy told the boy
about the birds and the bees
And may_ be it was there
that the boy told the pappy
he's in love with his best friend Steve
I don't know, I just had my binoculars
and I cranked it up
They were doing the honky -tonk,
the dunk -a -dunk,
and the cotton -eyed Joe
Tangled with the sheriff
and the boosker,
boogity -toosh, poosh, and straw
I think I saw a microwave,
an electric slider,
they did flow
They was gettin' on
down to makin' waves
in the perfectly weighted
fiber_ glass bass bow
They was get_ tin' on
down to makin' waves
in the perfectly weighted
fiber_ glass bass bow
I ima_ gine them boys,
both the good and the good old boys,
and if we met we'd get along
They kind of won me over
when they were twerking
along to my song
Possibly our destiny,
it lies within their fate
Cause this city slicker here eats meat
Don't wanna see how it
gets to my plate
That's real I reckon they're
good guys to know
Right then both kids crawled in
and turned the favorite TV show on
So I cranked up the outside speakers
but the camouflage boys did not sing along
It went la la la la, la la la la,
El_ mo's World
at 110 dB across the wilderness
La la la la, la la la la, Elmo's World
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Elmo likes his gold_ fish,
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his crayon too
That's Elmo's world
And the floss boys looked up at the stack
like they were gonna cry
Pulled up their anchors
and started up their engines
And they left without say_ ing goodbye
There was no more honky -tonk,
no more ducky -duck,
no more cotton -eyed joke
No more tangle with the sheriff,
no more boot -scoop boogie,
no more toosh -poosh, no more straw
Wake me up with your shotgun,
I will surely grunt
Something like that make a good
man like me indeed the hunk
One day I'm either gonna get locked up
or shot for im_ peding the hunt.