키: Eb major
Intro 1
G
Em
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Em
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Em
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C
Em
Verse 1
Em
All the seats at the Sunday masses
G
Filled with the masses' massive
asses
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Classes pass as fast as molasses
C
G
Ceremonial reading glasses
Em
Read a little bit of Leviticus
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All the kids are a little too little for this
G
G
All the parents nod in agreement
C
G
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
Em
C
Em
It's too early in the morning, glory
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To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
G
C
Assuring the assured that they
Em
need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
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Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
A
G
He meant that people all from the start
C
Each have 'slaves' within their
G
hearts
Em
Things that we have sold or bought
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That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
G
God calls us to set these free
C
G
Free our hearts from slavery
Em
And then as God goes on to explain
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The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
C
G
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
Em
In the back, I sit and I nod
G
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
G
My God they're starting to pray
C
G
Em
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
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dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
Em
Dear good all seeing being
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My way or the highway Yahweh
Em
G
Em
The blue balled anti-masturbator
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The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
C
G
For making me both rich and white
Em
And though this is your day of rest
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I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
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beyond this steeple
C
G
Wars and drugs and homeless people
Em
Sadness where there should be joy
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Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
A
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A world in darkness needs your light
C
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
Em
But my dog just had surgery
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If you could fix that first?
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C
Jeses
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De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
Em
in a holy place
G
Hail Mary full of Grace
G
C
G
Em
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
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I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
Em
so the bros can't cope
C
The bros can grope but the
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bros can't cope
Em
They've been in love and
they've been addicted
G
Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
Em
G
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
A
G
But you can't have Benedicts
C
Because there's only one pope
G
And only one dick
Em
G
Em
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
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Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
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unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
Em
G
Because the gender ratio
A
is one to ten
G
Winos at the Eucharist station,
C
trans-gendered-substantiation
G
Em
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
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Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
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It was Oedipus those holy nights
C
The holy motherfucking christ
G
Em
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
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Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
C
And blast FEMA
You're too late,
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we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
C
G
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
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