valensi wrapped his long, long arms around me
and they went around my body
he said "baby i've been thinking
and i think i will quit drinking
and i think on my next birth
day i'll turn thirty five
and i will settle down with you, we'll make
sweet love the whole night through
you'll convert into a jew,
sit shiva for your former life"
and i said "nick although you're handsome,
i'll hold out for isaac hanson,
and he'll get his braces back
me and hanson will go dancing,
me and hanson true romance
me and hanson take a chance,
lock the door it's party time
all our babies will be born novem
cookiepuss from the local carvel store
then our brothers will come over for
everybody holding hands, break the chain,
last night sergio valenti
customized some denim for me
special for my special shape, they
now i've got this new ensemble,
certain circles i'm a bombshell
but a guardian anglo keeps
pay attention and you'll notice one man's
chops is one man's bloatus
one man's taint is one man's choad is
and every scene i've ever seen
becomes a tootsie roll to me
a little tasteless waxy turd that
and everywhere i try to go the cars
i said "excuse me mr. johnson" he
"i think this is my biggest fear,
the road before me is unclear"
he said "close your eyes my child
and let the old man steer"
i said "oh, thanks anyway,
what would fenton lawless say?"
five years in the saddle and i've got
i've gotta take the reins
five years in the saddle,
five years in the saddle and
i've gotta take the reins
five years in the saddle and i've
five years in the saddle,
and i've gotta take the reins